Hannah’s Weblog

I am finally alone again…….slightly dramatic I know, but whats new? After returning from India, I barely had time to breath before my boyfriend Robby came to visit me from California. Well two weeks have past and I am alone in my flat, perhaps for the first time. So now I have time to write……..but what I will write about I am still considering, my mind is ticking as I write. Due to the nature that I began this blog, as a travelling diary I have a Strong urge to continue documenting what I have been up to the past two weeks. So maybe I will begin with that. Robby and I were very busy, visiting various English cities, trying various English cuisines, and trying to make the most of our short time together……

I showed Robby-san around Bristol, parts of London, where we saw a West end show, a rugby match and stayed in a luxury hotel. Had dinner with Kim and Lewis in Oxford, and wandered the lanes of Brighton. My favourite time was probably spent at home though, enjoying the company of my two brothers and my mum, who has now left too…….Missing people is a strange feeling. A feeling I am not sure I will never get used too. Especially when the feelings are twisted and manipulated my the relationship you have with the person.  Leaving my mum at Cheltenham bus stand last Friday was an emotional experience. I felt mainly sad for her, not that I do not miss her incredibly, as I do, but as soon as life continues, shopping, our car running out of battery, planning the night ahead, the sadness leaves and my heart no longer weeps. I felt sad as I knew she was feeling so sad. But I also felt happy that she was returning to my dad, who I know has missed her being here.  I wander if you can build an inner strength that helps you deal with missing someone? Or maybe it is possible to learn to come to terms with being able to love someone and deal with missing them. Thinking about how I feel about missing my dad is almost another story. I have not seen him now in over four months and am not sure when I will see him next, and although if I stop and think about it, I could feel very solemn, on a day to day basis I do not feel sad. Is this because I know he is happy? maybe…maybe it is ingrained in us at birth that at some point we will be apart from our parents, whether it be living down the road, in a different city, or in fact another country. As my parents are now living 6000 miles from the UK, and my boyfriend lives in California I truly hope that my theory is true.

I said to Robby this morning  at the departure area of Heathrow airport that I was strong because I knew today was coming, I was sad and did not want him to leave, but I couldn’t help feeling happy and positive about our precious two weeks together. I suppose remaining strong for the people you love is an important factor. While I was in India, and experiencing for the first time about meditation, I was constantly trying to study how to live in the here and now. It was something repeated to us everyday by our Guru. Evidently as I have already found, it is very difficult to achieve this level of consciousness….. But considering it know, and thinking about the ways that I have overcome difficult situations, I can dare to say that I find thinking to the future is pretty helpful. Living for the here and now is sometimes painful, stressful and impossible for me. I find that thinking forward to something positive and exciting helps me deal with the case in hand. Whether it be exams, jumping 160 metres off a bridge, or facing a full day of work on a nasty hang over, I have found that thinking ahead to when it is over really helps. And this strategy definitely helped me through today. I was prepared for Robby leaving. I was prepared for Robby leaving a long time before he had even arrived here. I think I began preparing for today as soon as he told me he had booked his tickets, while I was in the gardens of an ancient tomb in Delhi. This preparations and forward thinking helped me enormously, and I am grateful for that. I tried to focus on the next time I will see him, what we will do and all the things we have to look forward to. And I got through it, tears, farewells, and a long drive home, it’s done.

Now I am left feeling a little void. Like I said this is the first time I have been alone in a long time. Travelling with Kim for three and a half months, then having Robby with me for two weeks, I am now left to my own devices…..goodness what will I do with myself? Write on my blog is one answer, begin studying for my course that starts in two weeks, plan for my trip to California? mmmm………

Maybe I will sit back, relax and try at least try to be here, take a moment to live in the here and now, heck! Its worth a try.

My final entry. I feel a little sad as my blog has become a dear friend to me during my time in India and Nepal. My connection to the outside world, my voice to my friends and loved ones and the vehicle in which i have been able to share and communicate my thoughts, feelings and experiences……

I feel and have felt from the early days of my trip that I would like to dedicate this last entry to my travelling companion and best friend Kim……She may not ever read this, or maybe in a few weeks she will, but I don’t necessarily feel that this is important. During our trip we found that we synchronised in so many bizarre, wonderful and truly unreal ways. Finishing each others sentences, thinking the exact same random thoughts and the exact same time, a connection that I feel lucky to have had with someone.

When I have thought about travelling before I have always struggled to think who I would travel with. Not only who I would travel with, but who I could spend 13 weeks solidly with, who I could be completely comfortable with, loose all inhibitions and sense of privacy around….. It is a partnership that pushes all boundaries and tests you to the max. I am therefore proud to say that Kim and I did it, we made it, our mothers are amazed, Kim and I possibly are too, that we did not argue once, and mumbled along comfortably and happily. Our relationship has gone beyond and above. We have always been close, since we were born, but the fact that we got along so very well is something I am very surprised of, proud of and smug about.

The idea to travel India arose when Kim visited me in Japan last September. I managed to get some time off work and we set off with our lonely planet and backpacks. I had been living in Japan for 11 months by then, and had travelled quite a lot, but always as someone who lived there. I was therefore surprised how differently I felt and how differently I was perceived by the Japanese once I was with Kim. It was amazing how I was treated as soon as the ‘back pack’ was on and the lonely planet was out! Living somewhere foreign I personally felt a level of independence that I had to withhold, communicating through their language for example. Therefore when Kim just went up to people and asked in English I was shocked how well she was treated and how far she got through doing this. Suddenly I was a back packer, every where we went people wanted to help us, and I managed to in some ways achieve a lot more with this persona. It was a strange realisation and definitely sparked my desire to go travelling.

Whilst Kim was in Japan we both knew that we would be able to travel together. She was there a month and we got along fantastically well the entire time, this in itself was an achievement as we are so close we are prone to bicker like sisters do. Whilst in Japan, we met a German guy in Sapporo. He said something to us, that will stay with me forever. We had only been with him a short while but he commented on our closeness and relationship almost immediately. He said that Kim and I are two side of the same coin…..a lovely comment, that made us in some ways feel even closer. We were only with this guy a short time, but he managed to some up our relationship so perfectly. And he was spot on I think, in some ways Kim and I couldn’t be more different but in a way that works and this is why I think we managed so well together. As a travelling pair we offered a lot to who ever we meet, our differences meant that we could and did get along with whoever we met. Offering a range of conversations, a mix of past experiences, and this enabled us I believe on some level to make the amount of friends that we did. I think David would say, “you are same same but different” a phrase commonly used in Asia…..so so true!

I can honestly say that I don’t know many people that are continually smiling, chatty and so up beat. Kim is a rare gem and I am so fortunate to have her in my life. She has put up with me for 13 weeks, and I have to thank her for this. Especially on the days when I have needed to be within my own thoughts, and probably not been the best company, she has remained with me, not given up and helped bring a smile to my face. This understanding that we have is why we avoided arguments and maintained a balanced equilibrium throughout the entire trip.

Leaving India is the end of an era. The love hate relationship that so many people have with India is difficult to come to terms with, therefore I will be back. India has ingrained itself under my skin, and I have to thank India for allowing me and my friend to come, travel, learn, photograph, taste, experience and live there for 13 weeks. A few other thanks have to be given, as I feel this is important. Thanks has to go to Sleeper trains…..These trains, with or without a/c depending on the money situation have safely and smoothly taken us all over the Indian sub continent. The chai men, who were always there when we needed them, serving deliciously hot sweet tea at a price we could always afford! Parle G, our favourite biscuits. Internet cafes for allowing me to even write this blog. Cafe Coffee Day, which actually needs a special thanks, for its ice sparkles and blasting a/c. Cafe Coffee Day, Kim and I are truly thankful for your cheery staff, comfy chairs and scrummy cakes. My back pack. Which weighed 20kg, I will miss having all my belongs with me. My hiking boots….cheap but amazingly comfortable during my trek in Nepal. Thank you to all the wonderfully kind Indian people who have smiled when we needed kindness, pointed us in the right direction when we needed help and served us some of the most delicious food I have ever eaten when we needed re-charging. I also want to thank everyone who has read my blog and commented, I have appreciated all the comments and have been encouraged by all your positive words……

India I am thankful to you for allowing me all these experiences, I will miss you but will one day visit again.

Kim and I (and Lewis back in England) are all trying to log in to buy Glastonbury tickets……I have my positivity behind me and hope that we can open the page. The refresh button is going to have to give in sooner or later, right?? Please…… Kimmy wants these so bad!

So I think this is my second to last post……I have thought about my final post more than i probably should have during this trip. Its typical Hannah behavior always thinking ahead, unfortunately this kind of proves that all that meditating I did in Rishikesh hasn’t had a lasting effect……I was so hoping to gain and maintain the skill of living in the hear and now. Oh well…. A lesson learned I supose…

So we are still in Calagute and I am liking it more and more the longer I am here. We did go out last night in Baga, we didn’t make it to the night market as we decided the tuc tuc fare was valuable drinking money. Oh how I wish we hadn’t downed so many cashew fennys……I feel a little worse for wear this morning. But Kim and I always end up having lots of fun being silly and eating lots of ice cream when we are hung over so all is not bad…. We did try and go home early and were on the way back to Calangute, when we were so kindly asked by some young lads if we would accompany them into Titos as they are not allowed in without women  (this is the case in all the clubs) to control the amount of single men I suppose…poor things. So we did and ended up drinking lots, dancing on the tables and riding a bucking bronco. Kim won the contest staying on for 75 seconds, but crashed her chin and ended up with a nasty looking burn on her knee… hhahahahahaahahahah…..ill try and upload the video!!! The connection is too slow, so photos are going to have to wait

Oh I think Lewis may have bought tickets!! woo woo!

Omar has just told me that it has been snowing in England, its going to be quite a shock for Kim and I as I am currently sweating buckets! Its soooo hot here, too hot for the beach today i think! So this is why I am currently writing rubbish…..I think I should leave and do something productive……maybe a trip to Baskin Robbins is in order!!

We arrived in calangute just in time to witness the most gorgeous sunset! After the initial shock of the shear number of people on the beach we stood and enjoyed the sun disappearing beyond the sea….Calangute and Baga is where all the British package holidayers come, and apparently where all the Indian package hoildayers come too! This has proven quite a shock to Kim  and I who are used to quiet beaches and empty seas….Here the shore is packed bumper to bumper with sun loungers, the sea is packed almost bumper to bumper with jet skis and watersports boats….mmmmm Im not quite sure about this place yet. But we are going to keep our smirks to ourselves and enjoy the last few days of sunshine, especially as I hear that England is looking pretty dreary….. Tonight we are going to check out some the saturday night market and some bars, and try not to get too drunk….we dont have the money! we will probably stay until Monday. If we can put up with the Costa del Sol ambience…..:-)

Arriving in panjim on Thursday was as if we had left India and found ourselves in a dusty town in Portugal. The Catholic churches, beautiful pastle coloured town houses and quaint squares was the most un-Indian city we have visited. We stayed one night, wandered around, drank beer, ate cashews, watched a Bollywood movie, did some shopping. We also took an afternoon trip to Old Goa which is also home to some beautiful Catholic cathedrals and churches. The bus ride to panjim took us all along the coast and was spectacular……we are making our way north through Goa, and the moving on is what i enjoy the most. Watching India pass by, taking in all the colourful sights, just sitting and watching….I love moving on, and we did again leaving Friday afternoon. A local bus north to Calangute, our last pit stop before heading back to Bombay!

We stayed in Gokarna only one night. Which was a shame because food was really cheap and we found a gorgeously clean and spacious guesthouse. We took another much more comfortable bus from Hampi, and met some cool people ( again from ENGLAND!) Jenny and Tom. We arrived at 4.30 am so sat on the beach in darkness and waited from the moon to fade and the sun to rise. It was magical watching a new day emerge…..a  lady bought us over some chai and we sat and dunked our Parle G biscuits, admiring the sunrise. Another hot hot day, infact the season is nearly over now as its too hot, so i couldn’t lay on the beach too long. We found an almost deserted beach called kudli which was gorgeous, and we really enjoyed it, but again felt the erge to move on. So Thursay we took a local bus to Panjim.

Gokarna like many of the places we have visited in India is another world. The wooden fronted houses, terracotta roofs and hundred of temples and holy people give this sleepy town an old school feel. Many aging hippies still make their way here, but it was quiet and untouched by foreign tourism. this is what i liked about Gokarna, the fact it felt untouched and very much still Indian. long sweeping sandy beaches, pilgrims and local street stalls made this place charming indeed. 

Kim and i couldn’t settle longer than a week in Palolem. After having such a full and rewarding schedule the last 3 months we found our feet itchy and ready to move on. Espescially as our friends had all returned home, we decided to go and check out Hampi. Before I start though I just have to say that my birthday was amazing!! I actually had two pre-birthday dinners in Palolem (I’m such a lucky girl) with presents and cards and even a chocolate cake (bought for me my a guy we had only known a few hours) i was truely spoilt, and will hold on the memories forever……

So sunday night (March 30th) we took the most horrendous bus journey to Hampi. For those of you who have been reading this from the start, you will know that Kim and I have put up with some pretty ropey overnight journeys, and to a certain extent I appreciate that we should not expect much, but come on…..give me a break! For a start the bus was nearly 3 hours late. We sat in the swealtering heat at Canacona’s bus stand, while buses came and went, a few black outs and lots of dicussions on how we would get back to Palolem if it didn’t show…….I had faith, and was happy when it arrived about 11.45pm! The early hours of my birthday were spent on a disgusting, filthy mattress (and this I could handle) it was the fact that our compartment/hell hole was at the back of the bus and I think directly over the back wheels……ohhhh myyyyy…….. every tiny little bump, let alone the huge bumps, we felt. And not only felt but experienced, literally raising off the floor, and then thudding back down…..oh I should stop and tell you  about Hampi! Revisiting this experience is taking its toll……. a “happy birthday chicken” from Kim, and I managed a smile so all wasn’t that bad!

We arrived in Hampi bruised and battered and blurry eyed from no sleep to be bombarded by eager touts….Kim and I are pretty hardcore now so ignored them graciously and made our way through Hampi’s bazare. Now Hampi is an ancient settlement, and is surrounded by the most amazing natural rock formations and ruins. Its such s special and unique place we could not help but laugh and feel happy. The blue skies, lushious green of the tea plantations, banana groves and sugar cane fields and the beautiful rose colouring of the huge rocks was a spectacular sight. We decided to stay over the river so waited for a boat, and found a small hut to stay in. Basic, cheap and surrounded by fields of green……fantastic!

I spent my birthday doing a little shopping, chilling out in the Mango Tree, enjoying life. Kim made me a lovely card and surprised me with a gorgeous ring that I had  wanted but resisited in Palolem….I had a lovely lovely day. Then in the evening we had dinner with a couple we had met on the boat from Brighton. We reserved a great table overlooking the spectaular views of Hampi and watched the sunset, it was great. Kim, bless her had arrange for a cake to be made for me and I nearly sent out a serach party for her when she dissapeared for about 20 mins….It turned out they had messed it up! tried writing ‘happy bithday Hannah’ but it went wrong so they attempted to scape it off….so she got it for free!! It came with candles nonetheless, and made us all laugh, as it was supposed to be chocolate, but I don’t think it was cooked long enough, and could have knocked someone out if thrown at a head! ha, a birthday i’ll never forget.

We chilled in hampi for two days, the second day we had lots of plans to investigate temples, and go swimming in a lake and hire a moped. Instead we ended up lazing around a terraced restaurant all day. It was pure bliss, i did some painting, wrote some letters, a great way to unwind and relax!

Hampi is somewhere i would recommend to anyone. It was uncomfortably hot whilst we were there (hence the lying around and doing nothing), so maybe check out a cooler season but it is truely wonderful. Wondering around the market and ruins felt like we were on a film set of the Flinstones, infact kim and I half ecpected to see Wilma and Fred, the landscape was stoneage and magical….i would love to return and visit again! It has a lade back chilled out vibe and I can totally understand why people go there and never leave…….